In the last month or so I have noticed a pattern of pain in my clients. The pattern is one of regret. Honestly, it’s almost an epidemic of regretting. People are coming to me for help to release and understand the disappointments of the so-called bad choices in their lives. There are a plethora of regrets ranging from childhood, relationships, the loss of parents before resolution, marriages, divorces, to regrets for the things they didn’t accomplish in their lives. My clients have regrets about NOT pursuing their creative dreams and instead choosing to play it safe with a traditional career. And of course there are intense regrets filled with shame. I have clients lie down on my table actually terrified that I might be able to see a horrible sin they think they’ve committed that has left them filled with debilitating shame. Little do they know that from my perspective I’m thrilled because I know the truth will set them free. My clients aren’t alone in this shame. There are millions of people all over the world that have the same shame. The scenarios may be different but the shame is the same. I admit that there were events or actions in my past that I regretted too. I haven’t exactly walked on water while inhabiting a body so I had to find ways to let go of my indiscretions. Fortunately, I was able to finally discover ways of letting go of the shame, so I wanted to share them with you.
My regrets came about largely because I had huge expectations of perfection for myself. I got those expectations from my family’s religious beliefs. They convinced me that a human could actually make mistakes and that God was watching, judging and just waiting to punish. It took me years to realize that was simply not the truth. In God’s eyes there are no mistakes. In God’s perspective we are just having experiences. We are convinced in our youth by our parents that it is actually possible to screw up. We are convinced that our so-called negative actions are unforgivable. We spend a great deal of our lives focused on those past mistakes, instead of focusing on the perfect moment of right now. Humans have a very difficult time letting the past be just that, the past. How many moments have you wasted thinking about some so-called stupid thing you did in your youth or even in your twenties or thirties? I’m sure a lot of you think you have tried to let the past go but it just keeps haunting you in your mind, body & spirit so I wanted to talk about why humans are set on automatic pilot to re-live their past and then talk about the steps to take to release it.
The Earth plane was designed solely for us to experience emotions. We come into a body for one reason only and that is emotional knowledge. We were created to be the emotional experiences for our creator. We are nothing but experiential. We are innately designed to feel everything. We continue to incarnate in order to be able to return to our source of emotions, which is love. We incarnate in order to heal the wounds of the past incarnations. Technically, all incarnations are occurring at the same time but it’s just easier to call them past lives. When we are born, we are born with the wounds in our cellular memory. Our consciousness doesn’t come in pure as the driven snow. We enter the body damaged. Then after we’re born our parents trigger those wounds by their actions. Birth and the negative events of our childhood were designed to give us an opportunity to feel the emotional experience and then heal those emotions. Pain is purposeful!
Humans experience regrets in order to give us the opportunity to focus on our unresolved emotions. We live in the past in order for us to clear up the wounds of our soul. The problem is humans have a tendency to get stuck in the regret instead of paying attention to it and loving themselves out of it. Regret is just a red flag. Yes, we are designed to experience regret but its divine purpose is to help us pay attention to our wounds just so we can love ourselves out of them. Can’t fix it if you don’t know it’s broken. Our creator would never create an emotion without a positive purpose. Even though some people let the regret of their lives destroy or debilitate them that is not why it was created. On a side note, you cannot have any emotional experience from anger, hatred, jealousy, envy, depression, to disgust that God did not experience first. You couldn’t have it if God didn’t create it. God created those emotions; so they were designed to be felt. We are often taught to believe that regurgitating our emotions is a bad thing. It isn’t. Our emotions are our only truth. Our mind has an agenda. Regret gives you the opportunity to pay attention to a particular difficult moment in time just so you can observe and then forgive yourself for that ostensible mistake.
So how do you go about releasing the regrets? First and foremost you must stop judging yourself and instead start objectively observing your actions. I call it the NO WONDER syndrome. When you objectively observe your ostensible mistakes you will be able to understand why you made them. My father was horribly abusive to me as a child. NO WONDER I drank myself to sleep every night as an adult and lived in self-loathing. A grandfather molested me when I was four years old, NO WONDER I was promiscuous in my twenties. I thought that was what love was. Take the time to look at the so-called mistakes and realize the original pain that caused you to make them. Your mother was terribly critical of you, NO WONDER you couldn’t follow your dreams. Those ostensible mistakes or lack of action were caused because of a lack of love in your childhood.
What are steps you can take to heal regrets?
# 1 Pay attention to your regrets. Notice what you are thinking. Listen to the voice in your head that tells you that you screwed up. Stop in that moment if you can and write down the negative, regretful thought. Then you can truly tell what is still haunting you. Once you see it then you can release it.
#2 Regret, release and forgive.
It is never wrong to experience regret, it’s only harmful to you when you don’t release it and then forgive it. Don’t be afraid to feel the regret, and then go back to release the original moment, by using the NO WONDER technique. NO WONDER I didn’t live my creativity, I was criticized in everything I did by my mother. The purpose isn’t to blame your mother or be a victim, the purpose of NO WONDER is to understand why you are the way you are so you can heal. Once you understand the why you can then forgive yourself. Forgiveness is never about forgiving the other person forgiveness is for the self.
#3 Be the love you’re looking to receive.
When you realize the source of the negative, unloving action, you can send love into your cells. Be the loving parent you always wanted to have. Tell your inner child you love them, and that they did nothing wrong. In the moment of regret, place your hand on your heart, and say, “ I love you” a hundred times. Your soul is looking to be loved, so love it.
#4 Have the goal of enlightenment
We all come here with a soul purpose of enlightenment. In order to be truly enlightened you can no longer carry the burden of regret or shame. Enlightenment only occurs when every single cell or thought in your body is elevated to love. Because we are living in a time that the Earth plane is raising its vibration to the 5th dimension, we can no longer afford to have any unloving, negative thoughts. The unloving thoughts we still carry are going to be coming to the surface so we can heal them. Instead of looking at whatever negative thought is surfacing as a bad thing get excited that you are releasing them. You are not creating the negativity you are releasing it. So, if for no apparent reason a memory of a bad night of partying from 20 years ago comes up in your consciousness, you know it’s because you are trying to release that negative thought and have that thought become enlightened too. When the regret comes rising to the consciousness, stop in that moment to thank it for revealing itself to you, then smile and tell the regret its free to go! You cannot achieve enlightenment until every single cell of your being is loved so the negative, judgmental thoughts about yourself must be loved and released. Whatever pain surfaces, pay attention and then love it away.
You came into the body with a divine plan to screw up. So-called mistakes are just divine opportunity for growth. Mistakes are a part of our path too. We are never off our path. We are just creating opportunities for enlightenment. Everything you do whether good or ostensibly bad is part of your soul’s purpose in coming into a body. Realize that every single emotion is a good one. Realize that the only person that is judging you is you. The Universe and your soul are thrilled with all of the emotional experiences.
Stop regretting and start forgiving. Forgiveness is really the most powerful way to love yourself. You don’t need to ever forgive others, just yourself.
All that being said, I wanted to give you an OPTION B for healing regret.
Yes, it’s important to understand the NO WONDER syndrome, but it is equally important to not NEED to understand it. We are now moving into the 5th dimension so we need to find newer, easier ways to heal. Instead of going deep into your inner child and subconscious minds to heal the old wounds, you can just rejoice in the experience and decide you rocked at everything you did. Just smile and say, “I love every single aspect of me, good or bad, I ROCKED the experience of life! I had a plethora of experiences for our Creator…YAY ME! When you hear the critic yapping in your head, stop it! Whatever negative thought you have about you, stop in that thought and think, “But hey, I did it really well”. Just follow the negativity with a smile and a pat on the back. Let each negative thought be changed to a positive one. Remember no one is judging you but you so YOU CAN STOP IT!
What you think is a choice so think something that makes you feel good about yourself, instead of what makes you feel bad. Like Buddha said, “ Happiness does not depend on what you have or who you are, it solely relies on what you think.”
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